Fairy Tale
by Blowfish the Monkey Tamer
Summary: AU Link is a schizophrenic in Hyrule's Institution for the Mentally Ill. Ch. 4: It's called art therapy.
1. Visiting Day

**Blowfish: I honestly don't know what I'm doing right now. I'm tired and it's late and I can't think straight. I can't update "Heroes" because of minor writer's block (which I'll probably be over before I'm done writing this) and I'm having trouble logically answering reviews. And I think I'm on some sort of emotional overload after watching _Finding Neverland_, reading _The Five People You Meet in Heaven_, and re-reading _The Perks of Being a Wallflower_…all of which I highly recommend, but are messing with me right now. Even though I've got another excellent TT fic idea, I promised The Gemini Sage (who is a great writer and generally cool person, go read her stuff) that my next piece would be a Zelda fic.**

**I must confess that this was partially inspired by Exiled-Knight's TT fic, "Dangerous Mind", thus earning her the dedication in this story. This is for you, your fic, and all your support, EK.**

**The other part of the inspiration to write this goes to my odd fascination with mental illnesses. I'm not sure why I have this interest…perhaps because I find the human mind a dazzling thing, and to see it warped in such a way is almost as exhilarating as it is horrifying.**

**Do not misunderstand: I have no intention of romanticizing mental illness or making it seem funny. Mental illnesses are nothing to joke about—they are very serious. (I could if I wanted to. I'm a comedic person. But like I mentioned before, I'm on emotional overload, and I don't do comedy well when I'm thinking and feeling too much.)**

**So here I am, probably screwing myself over by starting my THIRD ongoing fic (Lord help me…), and I'm starting it by rambling. I'm absolutely brilliant, aren't I? Most of you probably skipped this though, so no harm done.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Zelda or any of its characters, and I would hope that writing this will not result in anyone's offense or any legal consequences.**

**"talking" 'thinking' _Navi/Kaepora Gaebora/King of Red Lions/Twinrova "book text"_**

**This fanfic is rated PG-13 (or, by our new ratings system, "T") due to swearing and generally dark themes.**

**Blowfish: I do sincerely hope you enjoy this fic. I have tried my best to accurately interpret all of the symptoms of these mental illnesses through research. If I am portraying something as it shouldn't be, please put it in a review or email me.**

**

* * *

**Back and forth, back and forth, back and forth, back and forth…

'Can't go 'til Malon comes, can't go 'til Malon comes…'

_Just go. You're hungry._

Back and forth, back and forth, back and forth, back and forth…

'It's against the rules…Malon will be mad at me, Rauru will be mad at me…everyone will be mad.'

_Not you. Go. I'll bet they're serving something good this morning. You'll be happy you went._

Back and forth, back and forth, back and forth, back and forth…

'No I won't. I'm not that hungry, anyway.'

_You're such a liar._

Back and forth, back and forth, back and forth, back and forth…

'If I wait long enough, I won't be hungry. And then, a little while after that, Malon will come. By then, I'll be hungry again.'

_You're so stupid sometimes._

Back and forth, back and forth, back and forth, back and forth…

'I can't remember…'

_What's happening today?_

Back and forth, back and forth, back and forth, back and forth…

'I never remember _anything_…'

_That's for sure._

Back and forth, back and forth, back and forth, back and fo—

"Link?" Malon said, opening the door. Link was pacing back and forth across his small room. "I'm here to take you to breakfast…?"

Link looked up. "Good," he said. "I'm hungry."

"All right then, let's go."

Malon's shoes squeaked as they walked down the hall. Link squinted a bit, irritated by the harsh fluorescent lights. He had always hated them. He turned to the redhead walking beside him.

Malon was a fairly plain-looking girl. She had long red hair, blue eyes, and a sweet smile that screamed "farm girl"—and she was. Link had often overheard her relate to some of her fellow employees about her life at her father's ranch-slash-farm, and every once in a while she would tell him some funny story about a mishap with a cow or a chicken or some other livestock. And Link would always listen best he could, because Malon was one of the only people he really liked where he lived. She was always nice, and would often try to make small-talk, or even slip him the occasional candy bar from the vending machine. He had heard that she did this with a lot of the other people staying there, but it didn't make him feel any less special.

Even now, she was beginning to start her morning talk with him. "So, how are you this morning, Link?"

"Fine," he mumbled.

"Good. They're serving cereal down in the cafeteria. Does that sound nice to you?"

"Depends…what kind?"

"Hmm…Rice Krispies, some of that Special K stuff, Raisin Bran…things like that."

"I like Rice Krispies."

"Well then you'll be a happy camper, won't you?"

"I guess."

"I thought you'd be more excited today."

"Why?"

"Well, it's the 23rd."

Link tried to remember what the 23rd was. It was important. He knew he had been looking forward to it for _some _reason, but he couldn't remember what it was. "I…don't remember what that means."

"It's visiting day."

Link's heart leapt: _Now _he remembered. "Oh! Great!" Malon smiled at him.

"I knew that would cheer you up. Oh look, we're here."

Link looked up to see that they were indeed in the cafeteria. Others like him—alike in that they were all clad in the same grey pants, shirts, and soft shoes with no laces—were eating and milling about, but sitting in small groups. Some sat alone. Malon nodded to Link as a goodbye and turned and left, her shoes squeaking all the way down the hall.

Link stood for a few minutes before going and getting some breakfast. He poured a bowl of Rice Krispies, grabbed a spoon, and scanned the cafeteria, trying to find someone. His eyes stopped on a hulking form at the back table, sitting alone. He smiled and walked over.

"Hi, Darunia," he said, sitting down next to his bulky friend. Darunia looked up.

"Hi, brother."

Link smiled. They would often call each other brothers because they were the some of the only people who either of them liked. Darunia also joked that he had so many real brothers that he was just used to calling people "brother".

But today, Darunia didn't look as if he was in a joking mood. This had been going on for a while, but Link was still concerned. Darunia was currently stirring his cereal absentmindedly for no apparent reason.

"How're you, brother?" Link asked. "Likin' the Raisin Bran?"

"I guess…today's visiting day."

"So I've heard. Who's coming for you?"

"Two of my brothers: Saht and Maru."

"Oh. Not little Link?" Link always had to smirk when he heard himself say that. He'd always found it an incredible coincidence that Darunia's son went by his name.

"He has a Little League game. He's coming next time…he said he'd bring pictures."

"That's sweet."

"Yeah. Is your cousin coming today?"

"Yep, Saria's coming. I can't wait!" he said excitedly, unable to stop fidgeting.

_She said she'd bring a surprise._

Link stopped fidgeting and scrunched his features. "Oh yeah…"

"'Oh yeah' what, brother?"

"Saria said she was going to bring a surprise…or something."

_You don't remember anything._

"Stop it," Link muttered.

"Stop what?" Darunia asked confusedly.

"Nothing. It's Kaepora Gaebora. He won't shut up."

"What?"

Link felt a mixture frustration and embarrassment. "I…he's…"

"It's fine. You don't have to."

Link sighed in relief, and then peered at Darunia's soggy cereal.

"Are you gonna eat that?"

"No…you want it?" He shoved it in Link's direction.

"Err...not really. You'll be hungry later, is all."

"Yeah…" He looked at the clock. "It's time to go to my therapy session. Seeya, brother."

"Bye." Darunia got up and sauntered in the direction of his therapist's office. Link looked at the soggy cereal he left behind, and suddenly felt very sad.

_No one would eat that._

Link paused. 'I would.'

* * *

"So how are you, Darunia?" Dr. Rauru asked. 

"Okay, I guess," Darunia muttered, sitting back on the couch in the therapist's office.

"Feeling overly depressed?"

"Not too bad…just really tired. And I've been having some stomachaches."

"Side-effects of your medicine, I imagine."

"Yeah…but I think it's working. I feel better than the other day…the other day was really bad."

"Best not to think of it, then. Who's coming to visit you today? Your son, perhaps?"

"No, he can't come. Two of my brothers are coming."

"Ah."

"They all used to look up to me."

"I'm sure they still do."

"No…they don't. They pity me."

Rauru shifted a bit in his seat, and scribbled something on his notepad. "Don't mistake pity for sympathy."

"I don't, Doctor." Darunia looked up at the clock.

85 minutes left in today's session.

* * *

"Fuckin' asshole!" 

"Mido!" Saria yelled. "You're gonna get us arrested!"

"S'not my fault that stupid bastard can't drive," Mido huffed, taking the south exit. The guy in the car in front of them had cut him off. Mido _hated _being cut off, whether in driving, conversation, or anything else.

"Do you have to swear so much?"

"Sorry," he mumbled. He looked like he meant it.

"Thanks for driving me to visit Link."

"S'cool." Mido shrugged and turned a corner into a winding road that led to a large white building. He read the sign as they passed:

**HYRULE'S INSTITUTION FOR THE MENTALLY ILL**

Mido shivered a little. He hated hospitals, institutions, or any facility that involved pills, needles, and funny smells. He didn't have to go in, Saria said. And he wouldn't. 'I'll stay out here curled up with a nice magazine, thank you very much,' he thought. Still, he was curious…

"So, what does he have again?"

Saria turned from the window, seeming to have just snapped out of a trance. "Excuse me?"

"Link. His…illness."

"Schizophrenia."

"Oh. That's the one where you hear voices and all that jazz, right?"

"Basically. There are a lot of things involved. He doesn't use long words or sentences. I don't think he can."

"Oh." Mido pulled into a parking space. "Well…I hope you have a nice visit."

"Me too." Saria leaned over and gave him a quick peck on the lips, and got out of the car. Mido got out his copy of _Discovery Magazine_, and was quickly captivated by the cover story: "New Discoveries in the Diagnosis and Course of Schizophrenia". He stared at it for a second.

"Ah, hell." He opened the magazine and searched the table of contents for the article.

* * *

Link swallowed a gulp of water from the glass, then drank some more in an attempt to get rid of the unpleasant feeling one gets when swallowing a pill. Malon took his glass when he was finished. 

"Well, that's all," she said, even though he knew this.

"'Kay," he mumbled.

"You're supposed to go to the visiting area next."

Link jumped off the table and walked out the door with a spring in his step. He couldn't wait to see Saria. He went to the visiting area, where an orderly quickly looked him over, and then nodded. Link went in, where Saria was waiting.

"Link!" Saria sprung up from her seat and hugged him. After a few seconds, Link sat down. "So," she asked. "How are you?"

"Good," he said. "I feel cramped sometimes. I don't…get out much."

"Don't they have times where you can go outside on the grounds?"

"Yeah…but still. Cramped." He pushed his hands together, as if trying to demonstrate his meaning.

"Oh…well, I brought a gift for you."

"Really? What?" Link sat forward in his seat.

Saria reached into her bag and pulled out a leather-bound book. "I brought you a book. The doctors said reading would be good for you. And I know how much you like it."

"Wow…" He took the book and ran his hands over the cover. "Thanks, Saria."

"I hope you like it."

He ran his fingers across the title, reading it aloud as he went. "'The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time', by Shigeru Miyamoto."

"He's written several; that's his fifth. It seemed like something you would like."

"What's it about?"

"It's one of those classic 'knight saves damsel from villain' deals, but I think it's more interesting. It has a weird spin on the whole genre."

"Oh. Sounds good. Thanks again."

They went on talking for a little less than an hour, before they came to another more interesting topic.

"You have a…boyfriend?" Link asked disbelievingly.

"His name's Mido," Saria said. "He's a bit rough around the edges, but he's just a big teddy bear underneath."

"Huh." Link looked a bit displeased.

Saria sighed. "Link, you may be my cousin, but I really hope you don't go all 'protective big brother' on me."

"I won't."

"You promise? I know how you get."

"I promise."

She looked at her watch. "Damn, time's up. I'll see you, okay?" She got up and hugged him. "Love you."

"Love you too," he whispered.

"Tell me how that book is, yeah?"

"I will."

* * *

"So, Ganondorf, how are you feeling today?" Dr. Rauru asked the red-haired man on the couch. 

"Not bad," Ganondorf grumbled.

"Is anything bothering you in particular?"

"Well...there's this kid."

"Kid? Can you be more specific?"

"I think his name's Link."

"Link? Has he wronged you in some way?"

"Ganon says he's bad."

"'Ganon'…is that one of the voices you hear?"

"…Yes. But he's right. Link keeps staring at me."

"Maybe he doesn't mean to."

"He does. I know it."

"How?"

"Twinrova told me."

"Ah…Ganondorf, is Twinrova another—"

"Voice? Yes, she is. Why does it matter, huh? I know I shouldn't listen to them, but…I can't help it."

"How long has Twinrova been talking to you today?"

"Uh…two hours, I guess."

"I see." Rauru ran his hand over his bald spot. This wasn't right. Ganondorf shouldn't be experiencing any symptoms this soon after taking his medication. 'Perhaps he isn't getting the correct dosage…I'll check with Malon.' Rauru peered at the clock. "It's 2:40, Ganondorf. You may go now."

"Thanks, doc." Ganondorf got up and went out the door, trying to ignore the sound of Twinrova's voice echoing in his brain, saying the same thing over and over:

_Link must die._

_

* * *

_"Ruto? You doing okay today, sweetie?" Mr. Zora asked his daughter.

"Not bad," Ruto admitted, shifting in her seat a bit. "I miss you, Daddy."

"I know. Is your therapist nice?"

"Yes."

"How about everyone else?"

"Weeellll…" Ruto said slyly. "There is this boy I met the other day. He's _very _handsome, and I think he liked me okay."

"What's his name?"

"Link. I made sure to be extra nice to him and his friend; I put away their lunch trays, and offered them some of my food, and—"

"Ruto."

"Yes, Daddy?"

"You really need to understand that you don't always have to do things for people to make them like you."

"I know…my therapist keeps telling me the same thing. But I see their eyes, and I can just…I can just _tell_…that they won't like me."

"You can't have everyone, honey. And I'm sure they would like you all the same."

* * *

Link sat down on the bench in the courtyard and cracked open his book. Just as he was halfway through the foreword by Miyamoto, he saw a shadow fall across the pages. He looked up to see Darunia standing there. 

"What are you reading, brother?"

"'The Legend of Zelda'," Link replied.

"Oh. Is it good?"

"I just started."

"Oh, sorry. I'll go watch the fish."

"How was your visit?"

"My brothers brought me some pictures of my son at his last game. The one before the one today, I mean."

"Oh. That's nice."

"Yeah." Darunia went over to the tiny pond and sat down. Little golden and spotted fish darted around. "I wonder if they ever feel trapped. Like us."

"We're…trapped?"

"I feel that way."

"I feel more cramped than trapped. Like I told Saria."

"Hmm. Maybe I'm just being morbid."

Link thought about it for a moment and went back to his book. Before he could get any farther, Darunia interrupted him.

"I hear we're getting a new person tomorrow."

Link looked up. "Boy or girl?"

"Girl, I think. But I'm not sure. It was just Nabooru's gossip, and you know the desk nurses are always unreliable."

"Yeah."

"I hope she's nice."

"Me too."

Link finally finished the foreword and started the book.

_"Long ago, in the faraway __land__ of __Hyrule__, there lived a young boy in a forest…"_

**

* * *

Blowfish: Short, I know. But I don't think I can really put anything else in this chapter. I wouldn't expect a very quick update, but I'll do my best. Tell me what you think. Please review.**


	2. New Faces

**IMPORTANT! PLEASE READ THE FOLLOWING AUTHOR'S NOTE.**

**Blowfish: No doubt most of you are aware, is cracking down on songfics…for no apparent reason. It really pisses me off, as the eighth chapter of TAoTT contains songs, and the next chapter of "Heroes" is to be a song-based chapter. Also, I actually have a songfic. They're threatening account closure, so I may not be seeing you guys here again anytime soon. But if you click my profile, you'll see that I have opened a Media Miner account under the same name, where I will be continuing my stories. I have "Heroes" and this fic up now, and I intend to put up my other fics as soon as possible.**

**But anyway, moving on to a less gloomy subject, I got reviews!  
**

**Reaka: Thanks, I hope you like where I'm going with it!**

**Jefepato: Yeah, but I do have a direction in mind. To have a mental illness…I can only imagine…and even then, I don't think I'm scratching the surface.**

**The Gemini Sage: Glad you'll enjoy it.  However, I don't actually personally know anyone with the illnesses I'm depicting (though my mom does have a couple bipolar friends), so I have to go by research. Heck, you're probably fitter to be writing this than I am. :P Also, you spelled schizophrenia perfectly. Yeah, Mido's part was supposed to be a BIT funny…he seems like the type who'd cuss his ass off if he wasn't ten. I'm happy you liked the reference to it being the fifth in a series—I figured, "Hey, this is Shigeru Miyamoto we're talking about here. No use in leaving the rest of the Zelda series unmentioned, if only in implication." And I must add, I NEVER get sick of listening to you ramble. You always have interesting things to ramble about. n**

**vladmir the hamster: First of all, before saying anything, your screen name is the third funniest thing I've heard all week. Trust me, for my writing, that was pretty short. I remember doing 22 pages in two sittings for TAoTT. Nuts, I tell ya. And to your other question (a very good question, might I add), I can say it will be answered in this chapter.**

**Ashley: Well, I see a lot of crazy-fics (for lack of a better term) in the TT section, and I said, "Why the hell hasn't anyone done this for Zelda? That's pure gold, that is!" Ganondorf seems like the type who'd be paranoid, doesn't he? It is kinda funny, now that I think about it. The book will actually play a big part in this story.**

**Christofori's Dream: Not really, no. But I am glad you're eager to see what comes next.**

**Massacre-of-Flies: It is sad, really. (But, if you really wanted a laugh, you could go read an X-Men Evo fic called "Crazy Like Me". Less sad, more hilarious.) The problem with stereotypes is the fact that you can't get into the full depth of what the illness really does. For instance, back when Saria talked about Link's lack of speech (I was wondering if anyone noticed how short his sentences were), that is something I derived from my research—one of schizophrenia's less-known "negative" symptoms is hindrance of speech and motor skills. Creates a whole new angle, doesn't it? Don't feel bad about not giving advice or anything—not all reviews need mountains of analysis (though I do enjoy it ) and constructive criticism (however helpful). Oftentimes, a few words of encouragement are enough. This (the first chapter, just starting the second) is definitely one of those times.**

**KittyHorse: Ah, I've no doubt that you're most likely right. It is obvious, no? (And if it isn't to everyone else, then there's no worries—it'll be explained right away.) I'm very glad you like the concept, and am happy that you are intent on reading further.**

**SStWwE: Happy you loved it. More than anything, you say? Like, more than chocolate? BLASPHEMY!**

**Zeva: Yay, I have my first stalker at (Note that I don't mean stalker seriously…I mean, like, don't go peeking in my windows or something. That'd be creepy.) "Heroes will be up…well, it oughta already be up, if I followed my original plan.**

**Lovova: Well, that's actually under consideration. But yeah, that's one of the angles I'm probably gonna take…darn you and your perceptiveness!**

**Loved It: Glad to know you like it. And that thing you said about groups of people with mental illnesses makes perfect sense. It's relativity and perception at work: One who is with others like them thinks that they are normal. That's why the people in this story are—for the most part—going to be interacting fairly normally with each other.**

**Some Say the World Will END: Wow, thanks. I really appreciate all the lovely compliments, and I hope you like this next chapter.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own The Legend of Zelda in any way, shape, or form (including the liquid form). That is Shigeru "Shiggy" Miyamoto's problem.**

"**talking" 'thinking' _voices "book text"_**

**Blowfish: So, it's time for the next chapter of this screwy little fic. Guess who's coming to dinner?**

* * *

"I don't want to come here." 

The woman in the driver's seat carefully wedged her car in between the large pickup truck and the SUV in the adjacent spaces of the parking lot. She sighed and straightened her sunglasses.

"I know," was the only response she could give.

She opened the door and stepped out of the compact car. She looked back to see the girl in the passenger seat sitting as if cemented to her seat. The woman climbed back into her seat, keeping the door open. She removed her sunglasses, revealing brown eyes with a strange tint that almost made them look red. A few strands of white hair hung down over her face. The blond girl next to her looked peered at her with icy blue orbs.

"What do you want me to do, Zelda?" the woman asked, her stony voice getting a bit softer. Zelda didn't say anything. "I know you think this isn't right—it took a long time to convince _myself_—but this is really…this is what's best for you. It really is."

Zelda fully turned her head to face her caretaker. "Impa…you'll…visit, won't you?"

"Of course."

There was a very pregnant pause, but then Zelda opened the door and stepped out of the car, followed by Impa. Impa collected Zelda's bags from the trunk, went over to her, and kissed her on the head.

"Let's go," she said softly.

* * *

'OK, OK, OK…it was…it was the man's wife! That's right! It was his wife, not his son…his son, like the sun outside, it's so hot. Hot, no, it's _scalding_, it's burning, like a fire—of course, it _is _fire, isn't it? Has something to do with hydrogen gas…gas leak. Leak in the pipes. Drip, drip, drip, leak in the pipes. Wait…I was thinking about the show! The show, the show…' 

"The show," Link muttered. Ruto glanced over at him.

"What's up, Link?" she asked playfully. "Gettin' into the episode? _Law & Order _is great like that. It was his son, I bet."

"It was the wife."

"Nah, she's too prissy to kill anybody."

"But…the insurance money. She could…pick up the insurance—is it REALLY hot in here, or is it just me?" he finally asked, pulling on the collar of his shirt. Ruto glanced at him worriedly.

"The AC is blasting, Link. Are you…feeling okay?"

"I…there's something on my back. It's burning me, like a Dodongo."

"Like a _what_?"

"One of the monsters in my book. It breathes fire. Feels like fire on my back."

Ruto felt much more concerned now. "I'll get somebody," she said, rising off the floor of the TV room. It was around noon, so almost everyone was at an appointment or enjoying their "free time" outside—Link and Ruto were all alone in the TV room. Ruto ran to the desk nearby, where Anju and Kafei, a nurse and doctor, had been a few minutes before when Ruto had gotten some water. Now they were nowhere to be found.

"Anju?" Ruto called desperately. "Dr. Kafei? …Anybody? Link needs help!" The dark-haired doctor came running out of a door, straightening his coat.

"What's he need?" Kafei asked quickly.

"He says he feels like his back is burning."

"I'll get him some water, go back and make sure he's all right." Ruto ran back in the direction of the TV room, and Kafei grabbed a washcloth from the drawer. He went into the back room and ran it under cold water in the sink. Anju slinked up behind him.

"What happened?" she asked.

"Link—patient 1986—is apparently experiencing some sort of tactile hallucination. I'm going to try to help him relax."

"Ah. Need any help?"

"No," he said, lifting the washcloth out of the sink. "But…we can't keep doing this, Anju. We need to…figure something out. Outside of work."

Anju sighed. "Our _lives _are our work, Kafei. If we could, we would."

"Yeah, but this is the reason they have the policy, Anj. It gets in the way." He dashed out of the room, leaving Anju staring at the spot where he had been standing. After a few moments, she went back to her place at the desk.

Kafei made his way to the TV room where he found Link sitting on the carpet, rubbing his neck and as far down his back as he could reach.

"It stopped," Ruto said. "He says it stopped."

"Link?" Kafei squatted down next to the teen. "Did the burning stop?"

"Yeah…it went out."

"Are you going to be okay?"

"I think so."

"Oh. Well, then—" Kafei was cut off by a garbled noise coming from the walkie-talkie attached to his belt. He put it to his ear. "Uh-huh…uh-huh…she's here _now_? I thought she wasn't coming until later. No, I was dealing with a patient—uh-huh. Uh-_huh_."

Link observed the doctor curiously. Kafei appeared befuddled by whatever he was hearing, yet intrigued at the same time. There were several more "uh-huh's", and "that's true's", along with the occasional "but that's Rauru's department". Kafei's conversation ended with an "OK, _fine_", and he stood up.

"You two might want to get to the cafeteria," the doctor said, checking his watch. "It's almost time for lunch."

"Oh!" Ruto gasped. "He's right, Link! Let's go!"

"Meet you in a minute," Link said. Ruto looked a bit fearful and pouty, but she did eventually leave. Kafei was about to leave when Link said, "Hey, Dr. Kafei."

"Yes, Link?" the dark-haired young man asked, looking a bit weary.

"Who's coming?"

"A new patient. A girl."

"Oh yeah, Darunia told me about that. Oh, and…"

"Yes, Link?"

"Lipstick."

Kafei almost jumped out of his skin. He quickly took the damp washcloth and wiped his cheek, blushing madly. "Err…Link. Would you…not mention this to anybody?"

Link shrugged. "Sure." Kafei figured that wouldn't be a problem. Link didn't know policy, so he had no obligation to report it. He was about to leave again, but…

"Doctor?" Link called.

"Yes?"

"Just one more thing. What's the new girl's name?" Kafei took a moment to inwardly chuckle at the irony of the question that Link could not have known.

"Her name is Zelda."

* * *

"C'mon, silly. Tell me!" 

"Nuh-uh. Not a chance. You have to guess."

"Hmm…the theme park?"

"Are you _seriously _guessing that? After I lost my lunch on the park owner's head when we were on the Death Mountain Crater Coaster of Fire?"

"Oh Goddesses, that was hilarious."

"To _you_. I got banned for life!"

"OK, OK, _not _the theme park. Then…hmm…I hear cars."

"We _are _outside. But we'll be going inside."

"Hmm…Oh, I give up, dammit! Just take this thing off, Mido!"

"Party-pooper," Mido chuckled, removing Saria's blindfold. Her eyes took a few seconds to adjust to the light, and once they had, she gasped.

"Zora Hall!"

"Yup. The Indigo-Gos are back in town, and Mikau gave me two tickets. Afterwards, I thought we'd just hang with them."

Saria squealed and jumped on him. "Thank you, thank you, thank you, Mido!" She gave him a kiss, and he blushed.

"I oughta do this more often."

"Let's go in!"

"It'll be a few hours before the concert starts."

"Oh, come on! I bet everybody will be there."

"Suzie and Mal did say they were coming."

"Then let's go talk to them," she said excitedly, grabbing his arm and dragging him towards the building shaped like a mermaid's tail.

* * *

Zelda sat in the lobby quietly staring out the window. It was eerily silent in the lobby, the only sounds penetrating the silence coming from the sound of the desk nurse tapping her pen on her clipboard and the cracking of the gum in her mouth. Zelda finally sighed and slumped in her white plastic chair. Everything in the lobby was white, excluding a few flyers behind the desk. She began to suspect there would be an enormous lack of color in her life for a while. 

"Doin' okay, sweetie?" the nurse asked, an unmistakably foreign accent seeping into her speech. Zelda looked at her. She had dark skin and red hair, and couldn't have been out of her twenties. Zelda also noted the excessive amount of makeup she was wearing, along with a few very gaudy bracelets. The most outlandish part of her appearance, though, was the large orangey-red stone hanging on her forehead. Zelda hypothesized that this was some sort of religious accessory.

"Fine," Zelda answered. "I'm fine." The truth was, she felt desperately lonely. Impa had left, unable to miss a martial arts class she was teaching. Zelda felt claustrophobic as well, the large white room somehow feeling a lot smaller than it was. She felt angry that she had to stay here. She felt anxious, wondering if she would be able to handle staying in this cooped-up place.

But above all, Zelda felt scared.

She was terrified of this strange world that she had been dropped into, with its white walls, its loud, eternally humming radiators, and its distinct, pungent scent of medicine. It was a less-than-pleasant place to be living, and Zelda still had a hard time believing she was actually there. And just when the girl thought she couldn't be more afraid of the situation at hand, she heard the sound of someone dragging their feet down the hall…someone quite large.

The tall figure loomed around the corner into the lobby. He had fiery red hair, and dark skin—most likely, Zelda speculated, of the same race as the woman at the desk. His eyes were an eerily light brown, almost yellow. He was tall and muscular, but something about him seemed off. He wobbled a bit as he walked; not as if injured, but as if intoxicated.

After a few steps, he stood in the middle of the lobby. He hummed while swaying back and forth, as if listening to some sort of music that only he could hear. The nurse stopped cracking her gum and looked at him.

"Oy, Ganondorf," she said, sounding as if she couldn't care less about what she was saying. "Whaddya need?"

Ganondorf giggled a bit, a rather odd shift from his usual quiet, stoic demeanor. The nurse cocked an eyebrow and Zelda shrank in her seat. The towering man leered at her.

"And _who _is _this _lovely lady, Nab?" he asked, taking a step in Zelda's direction. "Mmm? She's—"

"—New. You need something?"

"Hehehehe…"

"OY! You listening to me? If you haven't been sent here and don't need anything, I have to assume you should be somewhere." She rummaged in her desk and pulled out a schedule. "You're supposed to be outside right now. Recreation time."

"How am I supposed to recreate if I can't go wherever I want?"

"You find a book, sit down, and enjoy yourself," she said, gritting her teeth. "You've been here a while, Ganondorf. You know the rules."

Ganondorf's expression soured. "Twinrova doesn't like you. She says I should—"

"I'm going to call a doctor now, OK? You're just going to have to sit tight."

"Maybe I don't want to sit tight." He grinned devilishly. "Maybe I want to—"

"Ganondorf!" Ganondorf turned to see Dr. Kafei standing in the hallway with an orderly. "I believe you are supposed to be recreating right now. He will escort you," he said, gesturing to the orderly. Ganondorf snarled, grudgingly following the attendant out of the lobby. "Sorry we didn't catch that sooner, Nabooru," he said to the desk nurse.

"It's alright," she said. "I just…don't like the way he looks at me. Creeps me out, you know?"

"Yeah." He turned his head and looked at Zelda. "Ah! Sorry it took me so long to get here, Zelda."

"I-I'm fine," Zelda squeaked.

"Well, I'll show you to your room. Come."

* * *

Link walked down the hall, humming a tune he couldn't think of the name of. He had ditched Ruto when he met Darunia, persuading her that she would have much more fun playing chess with the depressed man than she would just walking around with Link. 

_She likes you._

'Does not.'

"Link! What are you doing out here?"

Link looked up at Dr. Kafei, who was accompanied by a blonde girl in a patient uniform. Link stared at her for a moment, but looked away when he realized what he was doing.

"I…uh…I was just walking," Link mumbled.

"Where are you supposed to be?"

"In recreation."

"Dammit…go back, OK? Do I need to call someone, or are you fine on your own?"

"I'm fine. Are you the new girl?" he asked the girl. "Are you Zelda?"

Zelda made a squeaking noise and nodded slowly. Link smiled.

"You have the same name as my book." He held up the book he was carrying, and pointed to the title. "'The Legend of Zelda.'"

Zelda shuddered a little and squeaked again.

"Isn't that funny?"

"Link," Dr. Kafei cut in. "I must show Zelda to her room and give her proper instructions about her stay here. You must go back to—"

"Well HIYA Link!" Zelda practically yelled, sticking her hand out. Link and Dr. Kafei stared at her, and Link hesitantly put his hand in hers. She shook it zealously, almost to the point of ripping the poor boy's arm off. She then laughed and slapped him on the back.

"Ah!" Link grunted, lurching forward a bit.

"Well, you don't have much of an arm there, do ya? Ya big strong MAA-AAA-AN!" She slapped him on the back a few more times.

"Augh!"

"You're funny! Anyway, it's nice to meetcha! My name's—"

"Excuse me!" Dr. Kafei interrupted. "We really should be leaving, and Link here should be getting back to recreation." He took Zelda's hand and led her away. She waved to Link over her shoulder.

"Byyyyyyyyeee! See you later!"

Link scratched his head in confusion all the way back to recreation, Navi making all sorts of comments along the way. He pulled up a chair next to Ruto and Darunia.

"Hey, brother," Darunia said, knocking over Ruto's apparently last rook.

"Hey," Link said.

"Liiiiiiink," Ruto said sweetly. "You seem a bit upset."

"I met the new girl."

"Oh! Was she nice?"

"I don't know if you'd call it nice. She was…weird."

"Whaddya mean, weird?

"She started out all shy, like I was gonna club her over the head any second, and all of the sudden she's shaking my arm off and slapping me on the back like we've known each other forever!"

"Wow…freaky."

"I know! It's like she was a whole different person."

* * *

"…And our manager says we're going on tour with Din's Firey Fists—you know, the metal band—in the summer. That other big band, I think it was—oh yes—_Golden_ _Destiny_—_the _Golden Destiny—they were going to tour with us too, but their drummer had this family crisis or something and they—" 

"Farore, Mikau, if you played guitar as well as you talked, your band would just…it would just freakin' rule the world, wouldn't it? Everybody would just _bow down_ to the mightiness that is the Indigo-Gos, and—"

"Shut it, Mido. It is going to be one _pimpin'_ tour, and if you don't get tickets…well pal, you won't know what you're missing. It is going to be _so_—"

"That's it! Evan, I demand you drop this guy from your band and we nominate him to run for governer! He's a born politician! He can't stop talking!"

"Oh _come on_. All I have to do is get you started on your ride, and—"

"_Dude_. Don't diss the ride. I spend hours perfecting that engine—"

"Point proven, ladies and gentlemen."

"OHHH-OH-OHH! Don't you get me—"

"And this is after, what, two drinks?" Lulu laughed. Saria was already giggling hysterically, the only one who hadn't already practically died laughing listening to Mido and Mikau's banter.

"At least—at least," Saria gasped, finally unable to stifle her laughter. "At least they stopped talking about cheese doodles and tortilla chips."

"Which is better—salty or cheesy?" Lulu said in her best sports commentator voice. "Mikau vs. Mido!"

"A true battle of the Titans!" Saria shouted, joining in the fun.

"Who will win?"

"Who will lose?"

"Who will get completely plastered on the least amount of alcohol in the history of alcohol?"

"LET'S GET READY TO RUMBLE!"

"WHOOOOOOO!" Japas hooted randomly from the side.

"Duuuuuuudes…let's just chill, ya know?" Tijo said in slow voice. "You're like…disturbing the vibrations, ya know?"

Evan stared at him. "Are you high?"

"…Haha, fooled ya, didn't I?"

"Nayru, man, I thought you were dropping acid or something. Don't do that again."

"Sorry, I couldn't resist. The look on your face was priceless! Besides, you know I would never do that stuff, man."

"Yeah, I know."

"I was just smoking a joint, is all."

"WHAT!"

"Just kidding man, just kidding!

* * *

**Blowfish: Other than the introduction of the Indigo-Gos into the story, that last scene wasn't really all that necessary.**

**But DAMN it was fun to write.**

**Hope you enjoyed Zelda. And the Impa cameo. And how unbearably obvious I made Zelda's illness…though there's more to it than you suspect.**

**Aaaaaannnywaaaaaaay, catch y'all on the flip side.**


	3. Tetra's Crew

**Blowfish: I'm back! School is a bitch. Kind of, anyway. I actually kind of like school, cuz I'm a dork. Ah well. I got some swell reviews to respond to!**

**The Gemini Sage: Yes, G-dorf is SUPER sucky. And, being Ganondorf, he can only get worse. Ohhh, the foreshadowing…**

**Reaka: I can't say, really. I can only hope it'll get better…eh, who am I kidding? Whatever. Glad you liked the chapter, hope you like this one just as much.**

**Vladmir the Hamster: Darth Tofu wouldn't have been bad either, but I do like your name the way it is. Heh, if you think 22 pages is nuts, check out the latest chapter of TAoTT. That was monstrous; I couldn't believe I could've actually written something that long! Ah, I was hoping somebody would spot the 1986 reference. Nice job. Eh, if you don't like Zelink, that's fine. Even better is the fact that you wouldn't mind if I wrote it. That shows you've got pairing tolerance, it does! Link/Impa…hmm…LIMPA! Gah, that would be a bit odd, wouldn't it? I hope you did like the scene with the Indigo-Gos, I enjoyed writing it. I'm setting the stage for the story that will take place outside HIMI. It's a side-story, but it deserves good effort!**

**Some Say the World will END: Definitely haven't given up. No way. I like this idea far too much to throw in the towel, no sir! Zelda's illness will become quite apparent this chapter, so no need to worry. MediaMiner usually gets updates from me a few minutes after FanFiction does, so you'll still be in good shape if you check there from now on.**

**KittyHorse: Indeed, it was Zelda. What's a Zelda story without some connection to Zelda? You'll know if you're right about her this chapter.**

**Umm…Someone I guess: Nah, it's not. You need to read some of the stuff on Fanfiction, they've got some real crazy-good stuff. Actually, one particular author, Galaxy Girl, is on both MediaMiner and FanFiction. Great writer, check her out. Short attention span? I know what that's like. I'm glad you liked it.**

**Disclaimer: Shigeru Miyamoto owns Zelda. This fanfiction is not written by Shigeru Miyamoto. What does this mean? Hmmmm…I forgot. I just know it didn't have anything to do with the fact that I don't own Zelda and don't want to be sued for writing—OH WAIT.**

**Blowfish: Here it is! The exciting, amazing, spectacular…ahh, screw it, this chapter's okay.**

* * *

"_The Hero snuck through the cave, ever-cautious of the danger he might encounter. The last thing he wanted was to meet another Dodongo. The Goron chieftain had warned him of the horrible beasts, but the Hero had not anticipated so many lurking in the cavern. He had been granted a reprieve, though; he found a secret passageway that, so far, appeared to be safe."_

Link peered around the corner. No one here either. He proceeded down the corridor, looking in all directions to be certain he was not being followed.

"_The Hero continued down the winding tunnel. He took off his hat and put it over his nose to block the foul stench of sulfur and ash that intensified as he went further in. No sign of King Dodongo yet…"_

Link turned another corner. His stomach was churning. He knew he was close.

"_The Hero saw that he had come to a huge fire pit in the middle of a large, circular room. No other room in the cavern had been like this. He stepped forward and heard a crunching sound. He looked down to see that he had stepped on a thin bone and snapped it in two. He then realized that all around him were bones: Dodongo bones, Goron bones, even human bones! Now he was certain. This could only be the lair of the infernal dinosaur, King Dodongo! 'Come out, you dirty great beast!' bellowed the Hero."_

"That's not nice, Link," said Dr. Medli.

Link paused and looked around as if he had only just realized where he was. "Oh! I…I'm so sorry. I…where…am I?"

"You're outside my office. Did you want to see me?"

"Um…well…" Link had honestly forgotten _why _he was standing crouching outside Dr. Medli's office. "No. I'm fine. I just…I dunno."

"OK," she said softly. "Would you like me to accompany you to…"—she looked down at her watch—"…oh. Well, I suppose it's lunchtime now, isn't it?"

Link nodded. "Yeah. Lunch. I'm hungry."

They walked together to the mess hall. Link was racking his brain trying to remember why he had been outside her office. He didn't need to see her. She wasn't even his therapist. All he could remember was something about a lizard or a dragon or something like that. He sighed.

"Something wrong?" asked Medli. Link noticed her ponytail swished from side to side when she walked.

"Why do you have so much hair?" he asked abruptly.

She actually smiled a bit. "I don't like to go to the salon, so I just let it grow."

"Seems like more trouble than it's worth."

"Maybe it is. I wouldn't know. I haven't cut it in—" She stopped. A boy was standing by the wall. Link recognized him as Komali, a boy who he knew, but rarely spent time with or talked to. Medli seemed a bit surprised to see him, even though he was one of her patients. "Why, hello there, Komali."

Komali said nothing, but took a few steps towards them. Link was not surprised at his lack of response. Komali had never been very talkative—the only sounds one usually got out of him were chirps or a strange warbling sound.

"Did you come to see me?" Medli asked tentatively.

Komali nodded and took a few more steps towards them. He appeared to be holding something.

"I already saw you today, remember? Your session was this morning, like it always is."

Komali continued to step forward until he was directly in front of them. They both stared at him. He thrust out his fist, which held a white flower in it. Medli paused and held out her hand. He uncurled his fingers and it fell into her hand.

"For you," he muttered.

Medli held the flower up to her eyes. "It's lovely," she said. "Thank you."

A blush crept over Komali's face. He stood shuffling his feet for a few seconds and turned away, walking down the hall very quickly. Link stared at him, and looked back at Medli. She was looking at the flower intently. She paused and gently put it in her coat pocket.

"It would look nice in your hair," commented Link.

"Yes," Medli sighed. "I suppose it would."

* * *

"Gonzo, what are you looking at?"

The burly man snapped out of his trance and looked at Senza. He huddled his shoulders and neck together and bore a pained expression, making whining sounds.

"Oh—oh _no, _Gonzo, it's okay, it's—no, I wasn't angry, I was just wondering what you were looking at!" Senza said quickly. Gonzo resumed his stiff posture and gave a small jerk in the direction of a blonde girl sitting on the bench near them. She was swinging her legs back and forth and humming. "Oh. I haven't seen her before."

"_That_," a voice behind Senza said, "is because she is _new_." It was Mako, Senza and Gonzo's bespectacled friend. Mako opened the notebook he always kept with him. "'Tuesday. Muggy. Heard doctors talking about a new girl to arrive on Wednesday.' See? Do you see? I heard!"

Senza nodded slowly. "Yes, I see."

"Now I must log this! Where is my Thursday page? Ah-HAH! Here it is." He began scrawling furiously with his pen. "'Have seen new girl. Engaged.'"

"No you haven't."

"Well, obviously I'm _going _to, aren't I? Now—Gonzo!" Gonzo had gotten up and was walking slowly over to the girl. "Gonzo, stop this instant! You must not engage a lady without proper planning! Stop, do you hear me?"

Gonzo sat down on the bench next to the girl. She stopped humming and smiled at him. "Hi. What's your name?"

Gonzo only gave a few grunts in response. Senza approached, Mako screeching at him about the proper way to talk to a lady, but he paid his companion no mind. "He doesn't speak," Senza explained to the girl. "His name is Gonzo. I'm Senza, and this is—"

"I can introduce _myself,_ thank you very much!" shrieked Mako. He turned to the girl. "Excuse my comrades' manners. I am Mako. It is an honor to make your acquaintance…I don't believe I know your name."

"I'm Tetra!" the girl laughed, seemingly ecstatic at the mere prospect of talking to someone. "I'm so happy you didn't try to guess my name!"

"_That _would be most rude," Mako huffed.

"I _know_. Everybody keeps going, 'You're Zelda, right?' And I have to correct them all the time and they give me this _look_, like I don't know what I'm talking about or something. But anyway, I'm Tetra, and don't you forget it!"

"Yes ma'am!" said a man that had joined the group. "Oh, sorry, I didn't introduce myself. People call me Nudge."

"Hi! Who're the short guys?" asked Tetra, pointing out the two small men that were with him. One of them looked less like a man than a boy, and the other had rather large eyes.

"The bugged-out one's called Zuko, and the shrimpy one's name is Niko."

"I am NOT a _shrimp_!" Niko shouted in protest. "My growth was stunted, is all!"

"Ya, stunted he says. Stunted all the way to—to—" Nudge stared at Niko's hair. "Did you wash your hair this morning, Niko? It looks greasy."

"I washed it last nig—"

"LICE! YOU MIGHT HAVE LICE! Oh Din, oh Din, oh Din…" Nudge immediately grabbed Niko's head and began leafing through his hair, resembling a chimp searching for a meal in a friend's fur. However, no chimp had ever so frantically searched for prey. "Oh DIN, they could be _everywhere_—"

"Nudge, if you haven't forgotten, all of us are checked for lice when we come in here and once every six months," Senza sighed. "The chances of Niko having lice are quite slim."

"B-but then…I'VE GOT HIS HAIR GREASE ALL OVER MY HANDS!"

"Yep. You walked right into that one."

"AAAAARRRRGGGHH! NIKO'S DEAD SKIN AND GREASE AND SWEAT IS _COATING _MY PALMS—"

"Niko, would you take him to the bathroom so he can wash his hands?"

"Ya, whatever," muttered Niko. He grabbed Nudge and dragged him away while Nudge was screaming something about "body soil." Zuko stared at the other three for a few more seconds before trotting off.

"Forgive 'em," Senza said to Tetra. "Nudge is okay as long as you're clean, Niko's kinda clingy, and Zuko doesn't say much. Stares a lot, though. He'll talk to ya when he's good 'n' ready."

"What about you?" she asked Gonzo. "Do you talk?"

Gonzo hunched over a bit and Senza patted him on the back. "Nah, he's never said a word. Hard to communicate with this guy. But after a while, you get what he really means."

"So, you guys are all friends?"

"Yes," said Mako. "You have to stick together to survive in this place. There,"—he glanced around to check that they weren't being watched—"are some pretty shady characters around here. Like that Ganondorf fellow. He growls at people for no reason, always mumbling to himself. In fact, a lot of the people here,"—he glanced around again—"are a little _off_, if you know what I mean." He leaned in close and whispered, "I think they're crazy."

Senza rolled his eyes.

"I must record these events! Good day to all of you." Mako set off across the courtyard. Gonzo looked at Tetra and started humming tunelessly. Tetra looked at him with a puzzled expression.

"I think he wants to know what you were hummin' earlier," suggested Senza.

"Oh. Well, it's nothing, really. Just a tune. Makes me think of the sea."

"Yeh like the sea, then?"

"Uh-huh. Never been, but I'd like to. Ahhh, the sea…" She returned to her idle humming. Gonzo joined her, though it took a few moments for him to properly copy the tune. Senza sat watching them for a few minutes, but then interrupted them with a question.

"Why would you wanna go to the sea, anyway?"

Tetra looked thoughtful. "Well, it's big, it's blue, it's wet, and it's full of adventure. Haven't you ever read any of those books about the pirates and the sailors?"

"Well of _course _I have, but what's so great about the sea? So it's wet. You could catch a cold. And there are sharks, 'n' jellyfish, and 'n' lots of other nasty things."

"Are there? Hm." She paused, but then smiled. "Well, you have to take the good with the bad too, right?"

Senza snorted and went back to staring at the wall with half-lidded eyes. Tetra wondered why he looked so sad. He looked at her. "What're you starin' at?"

"Oh, nothing. You're just so grumpy. How 'bout you turn that frown upside-down? It's a be-_yoo-_tiful day!"

How someone could be so cheery was something that baffled Senza. "Youthful optimism," he muttered dryly, as Gonzo and Tetra continued humming.

* * *

"Kafei?"

Kafei shook the sleepiness from his eyes and looked up. Medli was sitting next to him, trying to get his attention.

"Kafei, are you still with us?"

"What? Oh, yes! I just—I just—"

"You almost fell asleep in your own sandwich."

"Did I?" He laughed. "Well, I suppose I would've been putting it to good use, hm?" He bit a chunk off of it. "Mmmm. Pillow sandwich."

Medli chuckled, fingering something in her pocket. Kafei eyed her. She had been acting a bit oddly. She noticed his staring. "What? Is there something on my face?"

"No, sorry. What's in your pocket?"

"Oh." She took out a small white flower. Kafei nodded.

"Komali again?"

"Yes." She blushed a bit and put it back in her pocket.

"Don't worry about it, Medli. Patient-doctor attachment isn't uncommon."

"Said the doctor with the dependant-slash-narcissistic personality disorder patient."

Kafei looked amused. "Ruto is quite a case. If it weren't for her crush on Link she'd probably come on to me a lot more often."

Medli sipped at her coffee. "Link…you know, he turned up outside my office around noon today."

"Did he?"

"Yes. Wasn't exactly sure why he was there."

Kafei nodded again. "It's common for schizophrenics to experience some jumbled thoughts."

"Jumbled thoughts?" Medli snorted. "Kafei, the boy doesn't know which way is up."

"Well he's a lot more lucid than Ganondorf. Wish I had Link and Rauru had Ganondorf. Always telling me, 'Roll it off, Kafei,'" said Kafei, imitating Rauru's wheezy voice. "'You can't let a little uncertainty get in the way of your work.' Uncertainty my ass. I'm worried about getting my neck snapped one day during therapy."

"Brought in for violence?"

"Yep. Ironic…"

"What's ironic?"

"Well, another patient of mine was brought in for the same thing, but she's quite nice."

"I don't follow."

"Well, she has—"

"Dr. Kafei?" Medli and Kafei turned. Anju was in the door, looking as if she had run all the way to the lounge; she was panting and her hair was a mess.

"Anju?" He smiled at her and stood up. "What's your hurry?"

"Kafei—I—it's my brother—"

Kafei's smile vanished. "What?"

"My father called, he's been in an accident!"

"Grog's hurt?"

"Yes, it was a motorcycle accident. I need—I need to leave. I just needed to tell you so I could punch out—"

"Then what are you waiting for? Go!"

Anju nodded and ran off. Kafei sat back down, but he looked shaken. Medli put her hand on his. "Are you okay?" she asked.

"Yeah, I guess…I know Grog. He's Anju's younger brother, see. He's okay, but most people don't think so. His parents don't approve of what he's made of himself, but Anju sticks by him."

"I see. I hope he's okay."

"Yeah. Always was afraid he'd get hurt on that damn motorcycle, but he insisted. I wonder who's lookin' after his chickens."

"…Chickens?"

"He's a chicken farmer."

"…Oh. His parents aren't too keen on that?"

"No, not really."

"…Chickens? Seriously?"

"Yeah. Don't look at me like that!" said Kafei, noticing Medli's baffled expression. "He's alright, Grog. Good man, if a little apathetic."

"An apathetic chicken farmer with a loyal sister and disappointed parents who gets in a motorcycle accident."

"I guess."

"…That'd make a great TV movie."

* * *

"_The Hero noticed a bottle gleaming at the bottom of the lake. He dove down into the water and grabbed it. After surfacing, he read the message. It said—"  
_

"Liiiiiink!" whined Ruto. "Why don't you put down that stuffy book and talk to me?"

Link only grunted in response. This seemed to only further irritate Ruto.

"Linky, if you don't talk to me, we'll never improve our communication skills! And you know how many relationships collapse because of poor communication?"

Link looked up. "'Relationship?'"

"Don't give me that clueless look!" She slid her arms around his neck. Link became immensely uncomfortable. He didn't like being touched. "Oh Link…someday you'll understand. You and all the other males. You're all so blind to the wise ways of us women."

Link didn't know what Ruto meant by that, but he really wished she would get her hands off him. He was embarrassed; there were other people in the TV room, and he didn't want them to get the wrong idea. He knew a lot of people had the wrong idea about him—he heard them through the walls. Another person walked into the room, with two men trailing her. It was the new girl, Zelda. Link saw this as an excellent opportunity to get away from Ruto; he got up and went over to them.

"Hi, Zelda."

The blonde looked agitated. "Oh DIN. I've told everyone, like, twenty times today, I'm _not _Zelda!"

Link was confused. "You…you nodded when I asked if your name was Zelda. Yesterday, you did that."

"I did? I don't remember that. I don't even know why I'm in here. Damn place is so stuffy and white. BOOOOOOOOORRRIIIIIIINNG! Can't _stand _it! Gotta get outta here."

Link was even more confused than before. This girl looked like Zelda, but she acted completely different. Her voice sounded like Zelda, but she insisted that she wasn't. "Well, who are you?"

"I'm Tetra. Goddesses, how many times do I have to say it to people?" Her irritable expression turned sunny. "You're cute. What's your name?"

Link blushed. No girls had ever said he was cute except Ruto. In fact, girls that weren't Ruto usually had very little to say to him at all. "I'm Link."

"Hm. That's a weird name. But I like it. Oh, I'm so rude!" She gestured to the two men sitting with her. "These are my friends. The burly one is Gonzo, and the grumpy one is Senza."

"You're just too cheery," Senza mumbled. "Everyone is just too damn happy all the time."

"You talk like Darunia," said Link.

"Is he a downer too?" asked Tetra. "You make me so sad, Senza."

Link didn't think she looked sad at all. In fact, he had never met someone who acted so positively joyful. She had a smile on her face every second, and a dangerous look in her eyes, as if she was longing to do something wild and adventurous. He almost liked it, but he liked the soft look in her eyes she had had yesterday better.

"Is that a book? Can I see?" Link nodded, and Tetra snatched it from his hands. "Well, here's your Zelda! I bet people have been seeing this book and thinking of me for some reason."

"Well, there is a princess in it. She looks like this." He flipped open the book and pointed to an illustration of a girl with long, golden locks dressed in royal garb. She was in the middle of a courtyard with birds perched on her arms. "Your hair is kind of like hers."

"Is it? Well, that's funny. I'm going to go now."

"Didn't you come in here to watch television like everybody else?"

"Oh, I don't know what I came in here for. Besides, you're not watching television, are you?"

"Err…"

"Right then. Off we go!" She led Gonzo and Senza off, humming an odd tune. Link stared after her, and Ruto looked a bit ruffled.

"What an odd girl," Ruto muttered. "She was kind of rude."

"Nah," said Link. "More like…emotional."

"Hm?"

"Like a person that just won't stop, no matter what. Like a one-dimensional personality."

"…Link, wh—"

"Like how Darunia gets sometimes. When he's not depressed, he's all crazy and happy. Like he could take on the world. But she's different. It's like she's everywhere and nowhere at once."

Ruto stared at him. It was one of those times where Link had shaken off his odd, paranoid behavior and actually began to sound like he was someone who was aware of what was going on around them. It was weird. But just as she was thinking that, he stuck his face back into his book.

He didn't speak again for almost an hour.

* * *

"Left…up…right…dammit!" Mido growled. "It's all out of tune!"

"Just try again," said Saria. She played the melody again, and he tried to copy it. He was only marginally more successful that time. Much more so than his first. Or his second. Or his third.

"So Link could play this ooka-what's-it?"

"It's an _ocarina_, and yes, he could play it. Very well, in fact."

She was silent for a few moments. Mido fidgeted a little; she always became quiet whenever someone brought up Link. 'Come on, Mido, use that gray matter of yours!' he thought. 'Turn this into a positive conversation!' "Err…you know, I read somewhere that people that…uhhhh…like…ya know…have some sort of problem end up with these really amazing talents. Like epileptics. A lot of famous writers were epileptic. And savants! Man, they…they've got that, like, uber-talent goin' on. They can play music after hearing it just once, or calculate ten-digit prime numbers in their heads, or paint really cool stuff, or—"

"You know, Mido…as much as I appreciate what you're trying to do, I'd really enjoy a change of subject."

"…Oh. Sorry. I didn't mean to…uh…ya know—"

"Yes, I know." She sat back on the tree stump, and he fidgeted a little more.

"So you live here?" he asked, gesturing to the old, creaky, wooden house behind them. Saria grinned.

"You bet. It's small, but it's the coziest little place in the world. Lovely in the spring, but it's a pain to handle by my—" she stopped and winced; she had obviously said something she had not intended to say.

"You live here all by yourself? I thought your grandfather was—"

"He's in the hospital right now. He took a fall last week."

Mido was shocked. He put his hands on her shoulders. "Why didn't you say anything?"

Saria wouldn't meet his eyes. "We were having such a nice time…I didn't want to—"

Mido took his arms from his shoulders and tugged at his hair in frustration. "_Farore_, Saria, you can't do this!"

She looked back up, surprised. "What?"

"You never want people to help you! You always act like it's your battle to fight alone, but it's not!" He let out an angry grunt and a few strands of red hair came out between his fingers. He calmed down after that. "Look…you got dealt a shitty hand. Your parents aren't here, and the only family you've got is either in a hospital or…well, in a hospital. But you can't act like this. You're quiet, Saria, _too _quiet. You never let anyone know if you're hurting." He smiled. "Makes me think of how we met."

"Gah, don't remind me."

"'Why hello there, miss. I do seem to have tripped over you. I am ever so sorry. May I ask your name? Miss? Why are you so quiet?'"

"Pssh. You were a bit less gentlemanly, if I remember correctly." She cleared her throat and imitated Mido's voice. "More like: 'AAAH! Shit-fuck-Din-damned—oh, sorry! I, err, tripped over you. What's your name? Hey! Why aren't you saying anything?'"

"Oh come on, I wasn't _that _rude."

"You were _so _that rude."

"Well, you didn't say anything for like, five minutes!"

Saria grinned playfully. "I was just so taken aback by your charisma and dashing good looks."

"I knew it."

"Yep…after that I stared at you across the hall and I thought to myself: 'One day, that foul-mouthed guy is gonna be my boyfriend.'"

"You're a prophet, then, eh?" he laughed. "So what's my future, O Prophetess?"

"Well…" She leaned in and wrapped her arms around her neck and rested her head on his shoulder. "I see a girl who's…very grateful that she has someone so wonderful to look out for her…if a little hard-hearted sometimes."

Mido blushed, but turned his head and snorted. "Jeez, Saria. Don't go all sentimental on me."

"Pshaw." She shoved him away and dashed into the woods, knowing that he would be there to chase her all the way.

* * *

"So Tetra," Senza continued. "That's how things run around here, give or take a few oddities…well, more than a few oddities. Whatever."

"Geez, this place is more boring than I thought," Tetra whined. "We can't even have rubber bands or hair pins? I wanna put my hair up!"

"Dangerous, those things. In some hands, anyway. They don't want any problems."

"Maaaaan…what a bunch of tight-asses." Gonzo laughed a little, and Senza snorted.

"Ya wouldn't be sayin' that if you knew more about this place. My wife did a bit o' research before she would send me here. There's been some nasty stuff in the past."

"What kind of stuff?"

Senza's eyes looked hollow. "Gruesome things. It's the only place in the area though, so most of us are sent here anyway. They've had the government up in their asses, so they've straightened up since the last…incident. Yeh don't wanna know."

"Probably not," Tetra agreed. "This place is such a downer already, the Goddesses only know what could make it worse."

"There's…many worse things," Senza said softly. "Many worse things."

Tetra sighed and sat down on the couch, her eyelids drooping. "It all makes me…so…sad."

Suddenly, Tetra's back stiffened and her eyes went blank. Senza and Gonzo perked up.

"Tetra? Is somethin' the matter?"

Tetra's posture slackened, and she blinked a few times. Gonzo reached over to put a hand on her shoulder, but she shrank away, her blue eyes no longer gleaming and flashing with daring, but soft and delicate like those of a frightened animal. She tried to speak, but her throat caught. She coughed a bit and then spoke with a stammer.

"W-who are y-you?"

**

* * *

Blowfish: Hell yeah. I'll wait for your comments before I say anything, heh. You know you want to review. Come ooooon. Do it. Fine. I'll use my awesome magic powers to compel you!**

**SUGGESTION!**

…

**SUGGESTION!**

…

**You'll roll a natural 1 on your will save eventually, dammit.**

**(Credit for this joke goes to Rich Burlew, writer of the online comic, "Order of the Stick." Look it up, Dungeons and Dragons nerds.)**


	4. Art Therapy

**OVER THE PAST YEAR OR SO…**

**School: I suck!**

**Personal Problems: RAWR!**

**Blowfish: …Blarg.**

**Social Life: Happen!**

**Fanfiction: I'm neglected.**

**Comics: Blowfish likes to blow money on us!**

**Sleep: Blowfish loves me more than life itself!**

**Blowfish: That I do. So yeah. That's my life. Why am I back? I dunno. I guess I missed you guys. And writing this crap—err, stuff. Writing this stuff. Still figuring out a lot of stuff about what I'm gonna do to get back to business, but right now I just wanna work more.**

**Readers: Yay!**

**Blowfish: So let me start by responding to my lovely reviews.**

**The Gemini Sage: Ha! I roll a 14 and beat your Suggestion spell!**

**Readers: …Goddammit, Blowfish, you geek.**

**Sorry. Anyway…Zel is a little bit more likeable than Tetra, but there's even more surprises in store from her.**

**Vladmir the Hamster: Ahh, multi-tasking, the great temptress of the computer… sure, you think, I'll just listen to some music while read this fanfiction…heck, I'll watch a movie…and I'll download some porn while I'm at it! Then suddenly you're facing the Blue Screen of Death ™, AND THEN WHAT'VE YOU GOT? NOTHING! NOOOOOOTHIIIIIIING! cries**

**Encumbrance: You'll just have to wait and see…**

**EJ Amber: Ha, Zel is covered in this chap, more or less. Sorry again for all the waiting.**

**ME THEE OCEE: Yes, and here it is!**

**harrypotterfan: That she is.**

**Do I have to tell you my name: Deliverance! …Well, it took a while, but STILL!**

**X-wingPilot52: Thanks, glad you like it!**

**Blowfish: ON WITH THE SHOW…AFTER 9 MONTHS (BABY!)…  
****

* * *

**

"She didn't know you?" asked Mako disbelievingly.

Senza shrugged. "Not really. It didn't make any sense. Gonzo and I had to reintroduce ourselves and everything. Gonzo was real upset. So was she, come to think of it."

"Hmm…" Mako began to scribble in his journal. "'Saturday. Warm. New girl, Tetra—'"

"Says her name is Zelda. Exactly the opposite of what she told us originally."

"Okay. Fine. 'New girl, ZELDA, is acting strangely. Will not engage until she has gotten past this…episode.' Hmph. I must be off."

Mako shuffled away from Gonzo and Senza. Gonzo was slumped over, looking dully at the wall. Senza patted him on the back.

"S'okay, Gonz...maybe she'll come back."

Link sat quietly, poking at his cereal. He was more focused on reading than eating. The Hero in the story had rescued the Zora princess and obtained the last of the Spiritual Stones. Link knew that the face-off with the bad guy would come any page now, and was following the words on the page anxiously. Someone put their bowl down across from him.

"May I sit here?" asked a small voice.

"Sure," mumbled Link, not even looking up. He heard the sound of the person pulling back a chair.

"Is that a good book?"

"Yep. Getting to the good part."

"Oh. Sorry. …Don't I know you?"

Link looked up. "Yeah. I'm Link. You're Tetra." He turned back to his book.

"My name is Zelda."

"No, you told me yesterday it was Tetra," said Link firmly, not bothering to look up at the blonde girl's befuddled expression.

"I did?"

"Yeah."

A gloomy expression replaced the confused one. "Ah. Then I suppose I must have."

Link glanced up. Zelda/Tetra had nice eyes.

"Sorry about that, then," she said, looking embarrassed. She gave a weak smile. "Well, right now I'm Zelda and you're Link, so all's right with the world, I guess."

"All's right with the world?"

"Uh…I don't know…I guess I was using it idiomatically. Obviously all's not…I mean…" Speaking seemed to only cause further embarrassment.

"It's fine."

"…Okay."

They sat in silence for a while, Link reading and Zelda stirring her cereal, trying to see whether the milk would change hues. Link stopped reading abruptly and began shoveling and slurping his breakfast down his throat. When he was done, he stared at his inverted reflection in his spoon. Zelda stopped stirring to stare at him. She wanted to make conversation, any conversation, and finally said the thing that happened to be at the front of her mind.

"Why are you here?"

Link looked at her as if it was the most ridiculous query ever posed to someone. "It's breakfast," he answered simply.

"Well…yes…but I mean…" She paused. "Why are you here in this place?"

"In the hospital?" asked Link, still a bit confused.

"Yes."

"That's kind of a personal question, isn't it?"

"Oh…I suppose it is…I'm terribly sorry…I didn't mean to—"

"Well, it was a lot of stuff I guess." He shrugged. "Nothing I feel like talking about, thanks."

"Oh," said Zelda quietly. "I'm sorry for asking you about that."

Zelda could not think of another time in her life when she had been this uncomfortable. But Link looked mostly unfazed; he even offered a rare smile.

"I had to tell a lot of people all sorts of stuff when I came here. I'm just sick of talking. What about you?"

"What?"

"Were you trying to say how you came here?"

Zelda didn't want to feel like a hypocrite. "I…hurt someone. I wasn't…myself."

"Oh, like yesterday?"

"W-what?"

"You weren't yourself, I mean."

"Oh. No, I wasn't." She breathed a sigh of relief. People around them were starting to leave the mess hall.

"It's time to go," said Link.

"Yes."

"Bye, Zelda."

"Goodbye, Link."

* * *

Evan hunched over the table, using one arm to cradle his head, while the other lay limply on the table next to a bottle. Mikau walked in, slamming the door behind him. Evan groaned. Mikau cocked an eyebrow, smiling mischievously.

"Well good morning," he said loudly, making Evan grunt in a pained sort of way. "How are you, Evan ol' buddy ol' pal?" Evan grunted again. "It's awful dark in here. Howzabout I draw the curtains and let the sunshine—"

"YES, I HAVE A HANGOVER," growled Evan. "CAN WE DROP IT NOW, PLEASE?"

"Sure," said Mikau, grinning and removing his hands from the curtains. "Now, what was so fun last night that I couldn't have accompanied you in this lovely indulgence of the drink?"

"You're rather perky this morning."

"Oh, Lulu has just been particularly beee-yoooo-tiful lately, is all," crowed Mikau, knowing Evan couldn't stand their love-dovey talk. Mostly because he was frustrated that he, the band leader, couldn't get a girlfriend, while Mikau, the guitarist, was clawed at by anything female with a sex drive. "I mean, she's normally hot, but lately has been just _smokin_'—"

"Oh shut it."

"Awww, Evan, I know songwriters need lovin' too. I could cut one loose from my harem and send her in your direction—"

"This isn't about girls, you sappy fuck. Lightning storm last night, and guess what?"

Mikau blinked. "What?"

Evan gaped at him. "Didn't you see what happened out front?"

"Came in the back."

"A tree fell over and hit our fucking van."

"WHAT?"

"She's seriously smashed up. It's more money than we have to spend right now. Goddammit, this is such a mess…"

Mikau sat down next to his friend, a bit shocked. "Dude…"

"Yeah."

"I'll pay for it."

Evan lifted his head off the table. "No. You won't."

"But you let me park it here last night and I parked it under the tree even though it'd already started raining—"

"All of us'll pay for it together."

"But I want to—"

"You're not better than anyone else, okay? So don't try to do stuff you shouldn't. Now let me call Mido and Lado. They'll want a warning if I'm gonna have it there this early. You call a tow truck."

Mikau was silent for a few seconds. "Yeah."

* * *

Zelda stared at a spotted fish that was swimming leisurely around the tiny pond in the courtyard. "It sure is boring here."

"Yyyyeeep," said Ruto.

"What kind of fish are these?"

"Koi, I think."

"What are koi?"

"Fish, obviously."

"Hmm. How do they taste?"

"Never eaten one."

"Really."

"Yeah. I like fish, though. To eat them, that is. My father owns a chain of seafood restaurants and you'd think I'd get sick of it but I don't.." Ruto smiled. "I miss my Daddy. He's the greatest. Do you miss yours?"

"Who?"

"Your dad."

"My father is dead."

"…Oh." Ruto turned her attention to the koi in the pond.

Zelda sighed. "Yes, I do miss him."

* * *

"It's called art therapy."

"What do I do?"

Kafei sighed. "You do art, Link."

"…"

"…"

"Should I…paint?"

Kafei smiled, deciding that it would be better to try to be supportive of this new program than to run to Rauru's office screaming bloody murder. "If you'd like to, yes."

"What should I paint?"

The doctor heaved an even greater sigh. "Whatever you want."

Link stared at the paper blankly. Kafei gritted his teeth. "How about I give you a prompt?"

"A what?"

"Something to get your imagination going."

"…Imagination?"

Kafei distantly wondered if the boy was livelier when off his medication. "Yes. How about…" His eyes darted about the room, until he saw the background of the clock on the wall: A strange, contorted face. "…a mask!"

"…A mask."

"Yes. Paint away."

Link looked dully at the paintbrushes to his left and began chewing his fingernail. Kafei found another patient to look after, resolving that a stiff drink would be in order when his shift was done.

* * *

"Sorry dude, this thing is toast."

"You can't do ANYTHING?"

"Nope. Completely totaled," confirmed Mido.

"Totaled," agreed Lado. "Best be findin' a new one, Mikau."

"Aw, man," muttered Mikau.

The van was indeed beyond repair. The roof was smashed in and all the windows had shattered. There had also been considerable water damage to the inside.

"Could salvage the engine, maybe," said Mido. "Sell it, might make you a couple bucks."

"Vans cost more than a couple bucks," grunted Mikau.

"Aww, don't get down, 'Kau!" said Mido, using his friend's nickname in an attempt to cheer him up. "You should get a really cheap, run-down piece o' crap, and I could fix it and Japas could paint it and it would be good times all over again."

"Right."

"What's got you so glum, man?"

"I never have enough money."

Mido snorted. "Welcome to the club. No one ever has enough money."

"No, I mean, I can never pay for stuff. I'm always mooching off someone in the band. I just wanna let them know that I…well, ya know…can take care of myself."

Mido sighed, idly polishing a hood ornament while Lado went into the back. "Well, if it's any consolation, I used to feel the same way." He shrugged. "Started this shop with Lad' and it's gotten better." Then he smiled. "But you, you're gonna be a rock star, right? A big guy."

Mikau grinned. "Yep. They'll see my name in lights. Haven't got much else to do with myself anyway. Music's the only thing I'm good at."

"Saria tells me I'm good at being a jackass."

The two laughed. "Well, your girl certainly does have an eye for talent, then. Mine would say much the same."

Mido opened a beer and tossed one to Mikau. "To girlfriends!" He took a swig from the bottle. Mikau nodded cheerfully and opened his bottle.

"To mechanics!" Gulp.

"To rock stars!" Gulp.

"To dropping out of military school just to piss off your parents!" Gulp, gulp.

"To brotherhood!" shouted Mido. Gulp. "And…"

"And…"

"TO GETTING DRUNK IN MID-AFTERNOON!" they yelled together.

* * *

Rauru was doing his daily rounds. He liked to go around, see that everything was running smoothly. It was just a habit of his, really, and he usually saw nothing terribly interesting.

Today, however, he spotted a small congregation of patients crowded around one of _his _patients. Some were murmuring, but most of them were silent. Rauru peered into the room. Was it…yes, it was Link. He sighed and stepped inside. He recognized a few other patients as well. Darunia, one of his own, then Zelda and Ruto, two of Kafei's. The other was a small boy that he had seldom seen before. He had wide eyes and a wide mouth, scrunched into a very plump face. He tried his best to remember the boy's name, but he could not.

"It looks so pretty, Link," cooed Ruto, her arms draped around his neck. Link seemed extremely uncomfortable, and gave Zelda a pleading look.

"Maybe it would be easier for him to paint without your…err…arms on him like that, Ruto," said Zelda gently. Ruto gave a "hmph!" and moved her arms to her sides. Link's posture slackened considerably.

"It really does look nice, Brother," said Darunia lazily. Rauru noted that he sounded more lethargic than usual. He moved closer to get a look at what Link was doing. He was painting, that was certain, but Rauru wondered distantly what.

The picture was of a dark-haired man and a red-head dancing on a clock. It was one of the most surreal things that Rauru had ever seen. Rather than normal faces, the man was sporting the sun for a face, the woman a moon. He approached.

"That's a very nice picture, Link," he commented. Link didn't take his eyes off the painting.

"Thank you, Doctor Rauru," he said almost robotically.

"Very interesting."

"Thank you, Doctor Rauru."

"Where ever did you get such a fascinating idea?"

"Dr. Kafei, Dr. Rauru."

"Oh?"

"Yes. He said not to mention anything." This time, he turned a bit towards Rauru. "So I won't. I'll just paint."

* * *

Zelda had found that her favorite place to be in the hospital was the courtyard. It was the only place where she felt like she could remotely enjoy herself. Most of the time she would just sit and talk to whoever might be there with her, though the conversations were rarely very stimulating. Take today, for example…

"'Sunday. Humid. Have talked to Zelda. She still has not let anyone call her Tetra.'"

"I'm sitting right here, Mako."

"'She appears to have an over-developed sense of personal space.'"

"Stop talking about me in the third person. It's creeping me out."

"Well, fine!" he huffed. He gathered up his things and trotted away. Zelda resumed watching the fish in the pond.

"Koi…" she muttered.

"Who's coy?" Zelda looked around. Link was standing behind her, holding his book, as always.

"No, I mean the fish. They're called koi."

"Oh. Yeah. There's a loach in there too, somewhere. The striped one, I think."

Zelda squinted at the pond. "I haven't seen it."

"He's just shy."

Her gaze drifted back up to Link. He was staring into the distance. His hair was matted, probably because of the weather. Zelda shuddered. Goddesses know what her hair must have looked like. Link rested his book on his lap. "How far are you? Since the other day, I mean."

"What? Oh." His stare might have drilled a hole in the wall. "The Bad Guy made off after the Princess and the Hero went to keep the sacred treasure away from him. But the Hero gets trapped in the Sacred Realm." He broke off his stare and looked at Zelda instead. "It's kind of sad, because the Bad Guy wins and takes over the world, and the Princess disappears."

"Oh. Is that it?"

"Nah, there's a lot more, so the Hero can still beat him."

Zelda smiled. "You think the Hero will beat him?"

Link looked at her like it was the stupidest question that had ever been asked. "Of course he will. The Hero always saves the Princess."

* * *

**Blowfish: Yeah, it's short, but there's some set-up that needed to get done, so the chapter served its purpose. The next one'll be longer, I promise.**

**BLUEBUTTONFTW.**


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